Things I'd Like to Normalize

real life beyond the highlight reel

The second I get on social media, I’m flooded with faces that don’t move, dream vacations, impeccable style, large purchase hauls - the list goes on.

This week, I wanted to normalize a few things. The things that don't always make the highlight reel but make up a very real life.

A forehead that moves

I am not judging any of you who get Botox. I tried it a few times and looked like a fresh-faced beauty queen in the morning - it was amazing. But for now, I’m not getting Botox and have no plans to do so. If your forehead moves and you have smile lines that’s okay. You are beautiful. That is normal.

Breastfeeding a toddler

I was the person who said I will never nurse a child who talks and has teeth. Well jokes on me because my son has a full set of teeth and can say I want boobie. Here’s the thing - it feels totally normal and right. There is nothing weird about it. He loves it, I love it, we all love it.

Dressing at any age

You have the freedom to wear whatever you want at any age. My mom, who's in her sixties, is honestly in her best fashion era yet. I see Danielle experimenting with trends while making them authentically her own. I love watching women embrace their personal style instead of dressing according to what they think they're "supposed" to wear.

Renting instead of owning

I grew up in the Midwest which meant you purchased a home as soon as you could. Owning a home felt like the next box you were supposed to check. I feel zero pressure or urgency to purchase a home. Currently, my husband and I rent an apartment in the city. We have two bedrooms and one bathroom. That is it people.

Travel that isn’t Instagram worthy

I talked about this in my two previous posts here and here. Not every trip is magical. You’re dealing with cranky toddlers, delayed flights, and there’s zero relaxing. Those trips still make good memories.

Non-productive hobbies

This is embarrassing but legit one of my hobbies is watching Bravo and eating special snacks. I love it. And it’s a hobby I have the most consistency with lol. '

Working on your marriage

Having a child has rocked our world. We’re currently in couples therapy and navigating a challenging season together. I’m learning to approach my husband with more curiosity and patience, especially as we blend two different cultural backgrounds while raising our son.

Moving through shame

We all experience some forms of shame throughout our lifetime. I was recently talking with a woman who said something that stuck with me: As women, we often say we feel guilty - guilty for going back to work, guilty for choosing ourselves. Sometimes that guilt is actually shame in disguise. That perspective really resonated with me. I don't want to live my life carrying shame. I feel so much lighter without it.

Side hustles

Your girl has a few extra side gigs so she can keep splurging on facials and fun clothing or a special trip. My day job affords me health care, a retirement plan¹, and paying for daycare. After that there’s not a lot of extra spending money over here. I’m a middle class normie. Don’t let any photos fool ya.

Bodies

Full bodies. Small bodies. Tall legs. Wrinkles. Boobs that sag. Your girl currently has two boobs who are not even sisters — they are more like distant relatives. Thick thighs. A flat booty. Cellulite. Sagging skin. Muscles. A soft stomach. Stretch marks. Bodies that have carried babies. Bodies that haven't.

One child

I interviewed Jennifer Cook on the decision to have one child and it was enlightening and empowering. There is so much pressure to have children and then to give them siblings. I am perfectly content with having just my son. That may change in 5 years, or it may not.

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Maybe none of these things need to be normalized at all. Maybe we’ve just lost sight of reality a bit. So, tell me: what would you like to see us normalize?

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