Pride in Style
unlearning the small town script
Happy Pride Beautiful Queens!
I grew up in a small town in West Michigan. And like a lot of small towns, it came with small-town views. You believed what you were taught without questioning it. Not only did I live in a small bubble, but there was also a very specific mold you were expected to fit into.
And I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t follow some of those rules.
Like truly believing I would be abstinent until marriage1 and that sex before marriage was a sin. But eventually I was curious and in love…. before marriage.
Or attending Catholic church every Sunday, faithfully alongside the rest of the small town. Then, in my twenties, declaring that I was done being Catholic. Only to find my way back in my thirties so I could get married in Spain. And now, I've officially ended that relationship - the one with the church, not my husband.
I also felt the pressure to follow the path of everyone around me: get married, buy a house, and have kids — and do it young. It seemed like the number one question I was always asked: Are you going to marry him? Is he the one? When are you having kids?
I eventually challenged that idea. I broke up with my toxic boyfriend whom every thought was the one, studied abroad in Spain, and eventually moved out West with my best friend.
And let me be clear, I am incredibly grateful to be married and to have a child. But I needed the chance to discover that dream for myself. Moral of the story, these were my dreams and choices, and everyone deserves the freedom to define those for themselves.
There was one idea that I could never get on board with - the idea that love could be controlled. Or that a person should fit neatly into one specific box and stay there for their entire life.
You’re telling me we’re telling people who they can and can’t love? Or who they should be? Hell no.
I’m grateful to my mom for teaching me something different. To move through the world with curiosity and acceptance.
This post is for you, from an ally.
So, you know Spilling the Tea is a safe place. A space filled with celebration and love.
May you be free to love who you want, when you want, and where you want. May you be free to be unapologetically and authentically yourself.
Today, we're celebrating Pride in style. Pick a flag and wear its colors proudly.
First off, I love this color combo. It feels soft and feminine with a touch of boyish energy. I think I will be gravitating towards this color combo all summer as I have a lot of blue pieces in my wardrobe. I’m also treating blush pink as a neutral color in my wardrobe.
The vest was a great layering piece to keep me on warm on the Oregon Coast. Surprisingly, it’s sunny but you are not sunbathing in the sun like a California beach. The two sunscreens I used throughout the day were this stick and this cream.
I will say it again, Chacos are a must. They are durable and very comfortable.
Umm, hello! We are combining three of my favorite colors together. I wasn’t sure if this would work but I’m obsessed. It's the perfect mix of bold and relaxed.
This soft purple helped to ground my louder colors like hot pink and cobalt blue. I was feeling very overwhelmed by all the brightness. My style-savvy friends2 suggested pairing them with softer shades or colors with depth, like blush pink or olive green.
That simple advice was a game changer and completely transformed the way I approach color in my closet.
I have Dutch friends everyone! If you didn’t already know, my grandparents are from the Netherlands, and I appreciate me some Dutch folk. Since I’ve become a mother, I’m a regular at the coffee shop and park. This is where I met our new Dutch friends who have a daughter similar to Papito’s age.
This outfit was inspired by the world cup series we watched over the weekend. We took the kids to a low-key sports bar and celebrated the Netherlands win. It’s important to immerse your children into the activities you enjoy.
It was pure chaos and I didn’t witness a single goal but, in the moment, we were surrounded by community who was also going through it.
We know pull on pants are all the rage right now. Here are the ones I currently have in my rotation: track pants and parachute pants. I find pull on pants to be so versatile. They can easily be dressed up or worn casually all day long.
The tank and pants are simple, but easy to elevate with accessories. Try earrings and a scarf, or a hat with a bangle. Small details can make the whole outfit feel more styled.
I currently have these pull on pants on my wish list. I’ve seen a few of you stylish ladies rocking them - I see you Elin Strong and Ariane Anusbigian :).
My twin brother, his wife3, and their son stayed with us this past week. That meant early mornings, lots of coffee, and park dates. This was one of many looks I wore to the park.
I like to keep my skin protected with an extra layer using a button up. And I’ve found a skort to be very practical while also giving off the energy I’m trying today even if I’m dead4 inside.
I know I know what you are thinking. Katelyn those are the dorkiest sandals ever and I AGREE. Which is reason number 98 why I love them. Their dorkiness is what makes them so cool. Recently I was asked how to style them and here is my advice.
Pair them with anything and everything — white sundress, long jean shorts, a mini skirt. The unexpectedness of them is what makes them work.
Thank you for reading Spilling the Tea <3 To keep the tea hot and the pours coming, you can show your support by:
HEART, Comment, Restack, or SUBSCRIBE (it means the world!)
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase at no additional cost to you.
Let me be clear, if this is your choice that is okay. I hope to take away the shame and guilt that was put on me and others for choosing differently.
Fanny Adams :)
AKA my bestie from grad school who I set up with my brother so I could keep her in the family.
I’m jokinggggggggggg.
Love is love is love. Love every letter of this!
I miss being your resident photographer already